My New Exercise Plan

Today is day one of my new exercise plan. I had a counseling session this morning and I mentioned that one of the things I am hoping will improve as I start feeling better is my energy level. There are a lot of reasons for this, but one of the biggest reasons is because I want to get healthy. I want to exercise regularly and in general be a more active person. I am sick of always feeling run down and worn out, so much so that exercising seems like the impossible and getting out to do just about anything (even something fun) is just not appealing. In the process of having this conversation with my counselor, she mentioned to me that she has found a commonality among her clients that exercise regularly and consistently. They view exercise like brushing their hair. It’s something they do every day. Every single day. I immediately substituted brushing my hair with brushing my teeth or taking a shower. These are two things I would NEVER go a day without. No matter how tired I am, how sick, how injured, I will always manage to brush my teeth and take a shower. I feel too gross if I skip, it’s just not worth it. So that’s how I am going to view exercise from now on. The other thing I decided is that I will NOT insist of myself that exercise must be an hour per day. I think that is just too long. At least at first, it’s too draining and causes too much soreness which makes me likely to want to skip days or quit all together. Since this is something I want to stick with forever, I need to be more reasonable about what my body is capable of. I am not in very good shape right now, so I decided twenty minutes per day minimum is a good starting point. If I feel good at twenty and want to do more, then I can do thirty. For now, an hour is out of the question because even if I think I feel good enough to do it, I will regret it the next day. Consistent, regular exercise is more important to me than a single outstanding workout day. I hope to work up to forty-five minutes at some point, but I won’t push myself to reach that goal until I feel like I am getting into better shape and can handle it. After my session, I went home and helped my parents and boyfriend finish up with yard work. My mom and I got lunch for all of us and then we sat down, out of the heat and sun, and had a nice lunch. After my parents went home, I changed my clothes and jumped on the treadmill. WooHoo day one accomplished! I did my twenty minutes and I felt good. Tired, and I can definitely feel it in my muscles, but I won’t be so sore and drained tomorrow that I won’t want to do it again. I really, truly hope this is something I can stick with. I desperately want to lose weight, have more energy, and feel more healthy. I won’t lie, I also want to feel pretty again. I am entirely sick of feeling ugly and dumpy all the time, never having any cute clothes to wear. I need to get this under control. I am certain that how I feel about my appearance negatively affects my mood. I know it also keeps me from going out and doing fun things even on days where I might have the energy to do so.

Moving On ~ Good Advice From Dear Carolyn

Posted in the "Hi, Carolyn" section of May 13th, 2010 Ukiah Daily Journal

Dear Carolyn:
How do think a person knows when they’ve “moved on” from a past relationship i.e., are ready to date again without being unfair to potential partners?-- D.C.

True on-moveage is when you wouldn’t take a person back, even if s/he came begging.

Re: Moving on:
I think it’s more complicated than that. I broke up with a guy because he was starting to show abusive tendencies (throwing things, etc). I wouldn’t have taken him back if he begged, won Lotto and we lived in different time zones. That being said, I still wasn’t ready to move on for a while in a way that was fair to the other person - lots of stuff to work through. -- Anonymous

Right. I was seeing it as a matter of being attached to a particular person. For the kind of moving on you describe, the milestone you want to reach is the one of accepting what you learned about yourself in the former relationship. That pertains mostly to the ugly stuff you learn about yourself, but flattering news can take time to process, too. All this can make your own life seem alien to you. Once that phase has passed, and you’re not constantly aware of or reminding yourself of what happened – when you just “are” – then, you’ve moved on.

E-mail Carolyn at tellme@washpost.com, or chat with her online at noon Eastern time each Friday at http://www.washingtonpost.com/.